There are a lot of things going on around me that make me sad.
Seeing my family struggle around me. Watching them suffer at times and not being able to do anything to help them. Knowing that my father works so very hard every day, and has so little to show for it, making barely enough to keep food on the plates. That really makes me sad.
Watching my 4-yo niece grow up without her mother around, and without her even knowing who her father is is sad for me. Sometimes she meets new people and thinks they are her father. I love me niece and am happy to take care of her, but little girls need to be with their moms, not only see them once every month or two.
As is normal I think, I can be saddened watching certain movies, listening to some types of music, watching tragic news, and of course, seeing loved-ones die or dying. Also, when I see someone else who is sad or hurt, I am sad with them. Empathy!
It really bothers me when people around me avoid me when they have a problem with me. I wish they would just confront me with the problems instead of completely avoiding me and not talking about what is bothering them.
While I am happy for those who are more fortunate than me in life, it also saddens me, naturally, to see them enjoying life so much, having so much fun, doing so many different things, while I am busy learning how to be a responsible adult for my family and son. I am still young, so of course I want to be out having fun as well sometimes.
But the thing that really makes me the saddest, the thing that I can't seem to forget, is my recent past, from around the time I got pregnant. The mistakes I have made, the mistakes my ex-bf made, and the effect that has had on our son. I always wonder "what if" ... "what if" I didn't do "this", or "what if" he didn't do "that". Would we still be together? Would we be a happy family with our son? As every girl needs her mother, I feel it goes the same way in that every boy needs his father. And while I am very thankful that my son knows who is father is and his father continues to be a part of his life, I can't help but be sad that we are not a complete family. That is what my greatest sadness is.
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