What is sadness to me?
There are a lot of things going on around me that make me sad.
Seeing my family struggle around me. Watching them suffer at times and not being able to do anything to help them. Knowing that my father works so very hard every day, and has so little to show for it, making barely enough to keep food on the plates. That really makes me sad.
Watching my 4-yo niece grow up without her mother around, and without her even knowing who her father is is sad for me. Sometimes she meets new people and thinks they are her father. I love me niece and am happy to take care of her, but little girls need to be with their moms, not only see them once every month or two.
As is normal I think, I can be saddened watching certain movies, listening to some types of music, watching tragic news, and of course, seeing loved-ones die or dying. Also, when I see someone else who is sad or hurt, I am sad with them. Empathy!
It really bothers me when people around me avoid me when they have a problem with me. I wish they would just confront me with the problems instead of completely avoiding me and not talking about what is bothering them.
While I am happy for those who are more fortunate than me in life, it also saddens me, naturally, to see them enjoying life so much, having so much fun, doing so many different things, while I am busy learning how to be a responsible adult for my family and son. I am still young, so of course I want to be out having fun as well sometimes.
But the thing that really makes me the saddest, the thing that I can't seem to forget, is my recent past, from around the time I got pregnant. The mistakes I have made, the mistakes my ex-bf made, and the effect that has had on our son. I always wonder "what if" ... "what if" I didn't do "this", or "what if" he didn't do "that". Would we still be together? Would we be a happy family with our son? As every girl needs her mother, I feel it goes the same way in that every boy needs his father. And while I am very thankful that my son knows who is father is and his father continues to be a part of his life, I can't help but be sad that we are not a complete family. That is what my greatest sadness is.
What is happiness to me?
For me, happiness comes from many different things.
My family! How loving and caring they are towards me. How they are so understanding of anything I do, how they always want the best for me, even if it means they have to sacrifice something themselves. They are always there for me, from the best of times, to the worst of times, and for that I love them with all my heart.
Being able to help fix our little house into a nice home makes me happy. Finally having our OWN bathroom and not having to use the neighbors makes me happy. Just seeing how happy my mother and father were with the finished home, the smile on their faces is something I will never forget.
Simple things make me happy as well. Like cooking for my friends and family and HOPING they will enjoy it. Playing my guitar. Drinking with my friends and singing karaoke with them. A smile from a stranger or just a friendly person saying "hi, how are you today?"
Like most people, I love funny things. From movies, to silly animals, to comedians.
While going out and enjoying a nice sunny day is always fun, sometimes a rainy day can be calming and relaxing as well. laying on my bed and listening to the rain can make me happy and give me inner peace.
NOT fighting with my friends, family, and especially my ex-bf makes me happy.
Having an idea that I want to pursue and then doing it MY way and having it work out for the best is very self-gratifying and makes me happy.
Love....remembering all of the good times and fun I had with my ex-bf CAN make me happy, but it can also make me sad......
However, out of all of the many things that can make me happy, 1st and foremost is my son, Andre. All it takes is a little smile from him and my heart melts. There is no greater sound to me than hearing his laughter, watching him play, being a "crazy little man", it is so adorable! Seeing him learn new things such as new words, or how to drink from a glass on his own, or put on shoes by himself, just watching him grow bigger and stronger everyday is what happiness is all about. knowing that he is happy and healthy makes everything worthwhile. But out of all of the things about him that make me happy, the 1 thing that really gets me the most is when I am sitting down feeling sad, and he walks over to me and gives me a big hug and a kiss. This is a feeling that only a parent really knows. That is what happiness truly is.
