Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Dark Night, Bright Future

Dec 31st was a day filled with joy for me and my family, one that we will never forget.

I live in a tiny home with my parents, son, and niece. Up until a week ago, it was just 1 big room. This room was everything for us. its where we slept, where we cooked and ate, did our laundry, where we spent our time talking and spent our time together. no walls, no curtains, no privacy. we didnt even have a bathroom, so we would have to ask our neighbors anytime we needed to. it was like this for months. then with a little bit of luck and some hard work, we finally had saved enough money to make some changes to our home. we were able to put up some walls and make 2 small bedrooms next to the living room/kitchen, and we are currently having a bathroom installed. now we are happy with our lil house. thankfully we were able to finish most by the holidays, as that was my only xmas wish for my family.

on new year's eve morning, my sister came early to help us cook and prepare our small celebration. my 2nd brother also came to help. we made pancit, fried chicken, menudo, deviled eggs, and a few other filipino dishes. Later in the day, my son's father came to celebrate with us. and also a few of our friends from our old neighborhood. we ate, drank, played with the kids, sang kareoke, and really enjoyed being as a familily all day into the night. when new years came, we wished each other a happy new year, and continued to celebrate for awhile.....but around 1230am, we had what we thought was a brownout. we lost power, so the party was pretty much over since we couldnt sing anymore and had no lights. our friends went home, and the family went to sleep.

in the morning, power was still off. we thought that maybe somebody had cut a wire with fireworks or something, but we were unsure, and this was the 1st brownout we had experienced since moving to this home months ago. we didnt let it ruin our day though, as some of our friends came back over to keep celebrating the holiday. then, we had our biggest surprise of all....into our house walked my oldest brother, whom we had not seen or heard from in over 3 years! it was almost like a christmas miracle to see him again after all of this time! we all cried with joy, and were so happy with what the new year had brought to us.

we later learned that it was not a brownout that night, it was our envious neighbors who cut our power. you see, in the place where we live, there are not many homes who have their own source of electricity. you must borrow from neighbors and use their power lines, and pay them more than double to use it. the neighbor we borrow from had become envious about our small blessings. our fixed house, our family and friends party we had for new years, and the new bathroom we have started building. it was all too much for them. they are not happy with their situation, so they didnt like to see us so happy for once. so they cut our power, trying to bring our cheer down.

but through all of our trials, we have learned to be strong. yes, having no power has affected us, of course. but we still have family and friends. we have my brother back. we have our health. and all of these things are more blessings than our neighbor or anybody else can take from us. yes it is hard, no power 3 days now, but soon we will have power again from our other neighbor. and no matter what happens, we will always have each other and our love. so yes, we may have had some dark nights, and i know there may be many more to come. but we are fyting through it and will continue to fight, and now, more than ever, we KNOW that our future is bright!

Happy holidays to all, I hope you have a wonderful, blessed 2011!!

The bottom line is...

....ayaw na niya and you have to let go.
Minsan talaga may dadaan sa buhay natin para lang paiyakin tayo. Yung mga line na “i need space’, ‘its not you its me’, mga gasgas na linya yan ng mga lalaki. You should know how to read between the lines. Pag tanggap mo na hindi na ikaw ang source of happiness niya, mas madali na mag move on. Kaya kayo naguguluhan dahil di niyo pa kilala ang isa’t-isa. You haven’t adjusted yet. Kapag nag-aaway kayo huwag mong aasahan na sabihan ka niyan ng maganda. Syempre galit yan, kaya nakapagsalita siya ng masama. Kung hindi mo na kayang maging partner sa kanya, sabihin mo. Mas masakit kasi kung wala siyang makukuhang paliwanag mula sayo. Mahal mo pa siya pero ayaw mo na talaga. parang gutom ka, tapos may nakahain na adobo. ayaw mong kainin kasi sinigang gusto mo. Ganyan talaga pag nag-aaway, feeling mo ayaw mo na, suko ka na. Pero kapag nagbati na kayo, maiisip mo na lang na mas marami pala ang magagandang bagay sa relasyon niyo. If you’re going to leave someone, magpaalam kayo ng maayos. Pag sinabing “EX” issue palagi yan. Bago ka makinig sa iba, listen to your heart first. Kasi sa huli hindi naman sila ang magsa-suffer, ikaw. Pag nalilito ka kung sino sa dalawa ang mahal mo, isipin mo na lang kung sino sa dalawa ang matatanggap mo pag ngkasala sayo. Kahit anong alaga sa’yo ng partner mo, you will be hurt. emotionally attached ka e. Minsan kahit wala kang pagkukulang, iiwan ka parin ng partner mo. kahit nga sobra sobra na ang ibinigay mo. iiwanan ka parin. Mahal mo naman pala siya eh, wag mong iwan. Instead, tulungan mo siya na baguhin ang mga bagay na ayaw mo. Ang ugali ng lalaki, kung kailan malapit ka ng makarecover, dun siya magpaparamdam. Doon pumapasok ang role ng babae, ang umasa. Ang mga lalaki kaya nilang magsabi ng i love you ng harap-harapan. Pero duwag kapag magpapaalam na. Masakit man, kailangan mong sabihin ang mga dahilan mo. Huwag mo siyang pahulain. Huwag mo siyang hihiwalayan ng wala kang iiwan na dahilan sa kanya. Masakit man, kailangan mong sabihin ang mga dahilan mo. Kung mas pinaiiral mo ang pride at galit, mas umiikli ang life span ng isang relasyon. Pag nag mahal ka kahit na inaalagaan ka ng taong mahal mo. masasaktan at masasaktan ka. Yun ang tinatawag na package deal. Pag inisip mo ng inisip na walang matinong relasyon, hindi ka talaga mag kakaroon nyan. Walang mangyayari sa isang relasyon pag may kasamang pride. haiiissstt.. ^_-